In His Hands

Samuel's Baby Brother

2008-06-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

I originally started this blog as a place to celebrate this pregnancy and to share the journey of life after the loss of our dear son, Samuel. It has been a place where I could talk about my feelings of being pregnant again – my hopes, fears, and joy.

For the past few weeks I have been trying to think of a way to conclude this blog. A very thoughtful friend gave me this onesie and I thought this was the perfect ending to a new beginning.

I do get sad thinking about what good "buds" the two boys would have been. I do grieve Samuel in new ways as I come to realize even more what we have lost through the overwhelming love and joy we have when we look at Landon. I know with each milestone that Landon reaches, there will be a thought of Samuel. When he smiles, "what would Samuel's smile have been like?" when he laughs, rolls over, takes his first steps there will always be a little bit of me that grieves in those moments of happiness. This is the human side of me. However, there is great comfort in knowing that Samuel is in the presence of our Lord and Savior as I type this. I never have to worry about him as I already do Landon, he is in the best care possible! Samuel will always be Landon’s “big brother;” he has just made it home first.

Thank you for all the support and prayers throughout my pregnancy – you have all been a huge encouragement to me.

From now on I’ll be posting over at my original blog.

Some similarities between the two: Samuel was 10.5oz, Landon was nearly 9.5lbs. They were both born on Saturdays in the 9th hour.

Bath Time

2008-05-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

Landon's first trip went well. He went for 3 - 3.5 hour stretches in the car and slept most of the weekend. We didn't get home until 4am this morning so we slept for the entire morning. Landon's umbilical cord fell off over the weekend so I could finally give him a real bath.

1 week old

2008-05-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

Landon and I are doing very well. He had his first doctor's appointment last week and all looked well. The doctor originally thought he had a bruise on his cheek, but he now thinks it is a birth mark. He said sometimes a birth mark in that location can be associated with an eye problem. He doesn't seem concerned, but wants him to be seen by a pediatric eye doctor just to be safe. Otherwise he was gaining his weight back and didn't have any signs of jaundice. He is sleeping very well at night with 3 to 4 hour stretches - it's amazing how good those stretches of sleep feel!

My mom left yesterday which is sad, but she really did help us through the hardest part. We are planning on going to Colorado in a few days for Brian and Rachelle's wedding. We would appreciate prayer that Landon would do well and not get sick.

Here are some more pictures:

Sweet boy

Staring at daddy

Bath Time. He really got this towel good after his sponge bath, I hope it comes clean!

Big lips

Landon's Birth Story

2008-05-17T15:33:00.000-07:00

May 8, 8:30 AM I had an appointment and my doctor noticed my contractions were getting closer together so she decided to strip my membranes in hopes to get this boy moving.

May 8, 8:30 PM My contractions started to feel different, they weren’t that painful but were definitely more uncomfortable. They were around 5 minutes apart, but I decided that if they woke me up that night I’d call the doctor.

May 9, 3:30 AM They woke me up and I wasn’t able to fall back asleep. I decided to keep timing them and wait until my doctor’s office opened. I called the doctor and they told me to come in. I knew as soon as I got in I was going to be very uncomfortable, so I wanted to wait until they were really painful.

May 9, 2:00 PM I went to the hospital. They said it was early labor (1cm 80% effaced) and to go home and wait until they were 2-3 min apart.

May 9, 7:30 PM They reached 2-3 min apart so we went in. My doctor ended up having a medical emergency herself so another doctor was on call (who was not familiar with my history). I hadn’t changed from earlier and after they pumped a lot of fluid into me my contractions spaced out to 6 min apart.

May 9, 9:30 PM They sent me home again. Since I was trying for a VBAC, they didn’t want to use anything to speed my labor along because of increased chance of uterine rupture. My doctor would not have sent me home with my high risk history. I was so upset because I knew this was the real thing and to drive during those contractions was miserable, but there was no convincing them to let me stay so we went home.

At home I was miserable, but tried to breath through my contractions and not let my mind get out of control (I wasn’t always successful though!). Seth would pray through the contractions and that helped tremendously.

May 10, 1:30 AM We decided it was time to go back in. When we got there I started throwing up in the parking lot, I was miserable and could not think how I was going to walk in. My mom and sister had just arrived (from their 8 hour drive) and met us in the parking lot with a wheel chair. When they checked me, I had changed to 2cm and was 100% effaced so the doctor let me stay. I started to have back labor and was in so much pain. The thing that helped me the most during each contraction was to repeat, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I continued to progress slowly through the night and was exhausted.

May 10, 7:45 AM I finally caved and got the epidural. I had wanted to go natural, but after being up for 28 hours I was running out of energy and endurance. When they checked me after the epidural placement, I was 7cm and the nurse accidentally popped my water.

May 10, 8:15 AM The doctor came in said I was complete and ready to push.

May 10, 9:17 AM Our precious Landon John was born. I couldn’t believe how big was at 9lb 7oz and 22 ¼ inches long. We were so thankful to have such an uncomplicated labor and delivery.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us during this pregnancy, the Lord is so gracious and we are truly blessed!

40 Week "Belly"

2008-05-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

More pictures

2008-05-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

Things are going well here. We got home from the hospital yesterday. My sisters and mom were able to come down, sisters have left, mom will be here a few more days. She has been a huge help. Landon has his first doctor's appt tomorrow which I think will go very well. He is doing great. he has his days and nights mixed up so we're trying to catch up on sleep during the day until he switches over.

Here are a few more pictures that my sister took of our little guy.

He is here!

2008-05-11T00:26:00.001-07:00

Sweet Landon John arrived this morning (5/10) at 9:17 am.
9lb 7oz ~ 22 1/4 in
He is perfect and beautiful.
Both mom and baby are doing great!

Stay tuned for more pictures and his birth story!

38 Weeks

2008-04-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

Still no real progress here in the labor department. Contractions are here and there and they are starting to get stronger, but nothing consistent yet. This little guy is pretty comfortable in there and doesn't seem to be planning an early arrival, but we shall see. I'll keep you posted on any changes...

The Nursery, Before and After

2008-04-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Thought I would FINALLY show you what we have done in the nursery since we just got everything hung on the walls that we wanted and Seth even installed a ceiling fan.

Found this at a thrift store, thought we would re-do it for our changing table

We were given this dresser, thought with a little paint it would be good as new

The room under contruction

Seth doing all the painting

Getting to that dresser

AND AFTER....

Maternity Pictures

2008-04-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple maternity pictures that my sister, Rebekah took when I was 30 weeks pregnant (I've grown a lot since then!). I really like how they turned out.

37 Weeks

2008-04-20T19:47:00.000-07:00

I've made it! If I were to have this baby now he would be full term and able to come home with us in just a few days as long as all goes well. I am so grateful to have made it this far. It feels surreal to think that we will meet our little boy within a matter of days.
A couple updates...

I finished work last week so now I have a little more time to prepare for the baby.

I had an ultrasound last week, the clot has grown, but the baby is growing as well, so the doctor is not concerned. They estimated his weight at 7lb 10oz, so if he waits til my due date to make his appearance, he will be a big guy!

Made some good progress on the nursery this week, but still need to get some things put up on the walls...

Anyway, I am sorry for missing the 36 week picture for those of you who read my blog, but things have been very busy preparing for baby. Here is a 37 week shot...

34 Weeks

2008-04-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

Things are still going well. Baby is still measuring big, so that means he is growing! Put your guess in on when you think our baby will be born and how big he will be by clicking on the left icon. We are planning on getting a lot done in the nursery tomorrow, so hopefully (I know I keep saying that...) I will be able to post pictures very soon!

Our camera was foggy from being in the cold car, so Seth played around a bit with this picture to get it to look a little better...

33 Week Appointment

2008-03-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess they don't do measurements on the ultrasound each week, more like every 3 weeks. They are just checking the fluid around the baby and keeping an eye on the clot. The fluid levels looked great and my tummy measured 36/37 cm! I did the non-stress test where they put the external monitors for the heart and contractions and I push a button to tell them when I feel movement. I was surprised to find myself having a hard time with that. It brought back memories of being in the hospital with Samuel when I had to wear that monitor. I had to lay so still with him since he was so little and it did not want to stay on, I very much hated that thing. It wasn't so bad today, it was just the memories I guess. It's weird how little things will bring you back to those moments...

All else looked good. The doctor says that when one of her patients hits 34 weeks she feels great about everything. She said if he were to be born it would only be a 1-2 week NICU stay! That was very reassuring to hear. I have a shower tonight and another this weekend so I will post pictures of the room soon (maybe next week...).

Guesses?

2008-03-27T07:07:00.001-07:00

Any guesses on what the estimated weight will be on this boy today? Last week it was 5lb 5 oz. Most of my ultrasounds have been a good 4 weeks apart, so it will be interesting to see how much he has grown in a week.

Ultrasound Report

2008-03-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

I had an ultrasound today and all is looking well. Baby is measuring three weeks ahead with an estimated weight of 5lbs 5oz! I know that can be off, but still, he's a big one. One thing the doctor said is that I do have a clot on my placenta at the same place I had one with Samuel. He said at this point he is not concerned, it's just if it starts interfering with growth (which at this point it's obviously not) or if I start having symptoms like I did with Samuel (fluid retention, contractions, etc...). It makes me a little nervous knowing I have a clot there, but I am so thankful to be this far along so even if he had to be born early he would have a great chance. He also wants to switch me from Lovenox to Heparin sooner (in two weeks) instead of waiting til I'm 36 weeks, since the baby is measuring so far ahead. The main reason they switch is because the effects of Heparin can be reversed if I were to go into labor and with Lovenox they can't. Otherwise the doctor says things are looking great.

32 Weeks

2008-03-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

Seth finished the first coat of paint in the baby's room tonight, yay! April and Justin are letting us borrow one of their cribs since Layla is now in her big girl bed. Hopefully by this weekend, painting should be done and the crib should be put together. I will post pictures of our progress.

I had a doctor's appt. today and all is well. I have an ultrasound on Thursday, I never get tired of seeing our little boy squirm on the screen. Here's a picture of my growing belly at 32 weeks, only 8 weeks to go!

31 Weeks

2008-03-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I had an appointment yesterday. All is looking good. I measured 34cm (3 weeks ahead. My doctor thinks our little boy will be around 8 1/2 to 9 lbs if he goes full term. She said starting next week she wants to do weekly ultrasounds just to keep an eye on growth and fluid levels. I will also be having non stress tests weekly. This is going to make it go really fast!

Also, I had my first shower last weekend back in Iowa. I couldn't believe how generous everyone was! I got so much stuff, I still don't know how we fit it all in our car. I will post pictures of the loot when I get a chance. Also, my sister took some maternity pictures which were a lot of fun.

Next on the list: Paint and put nursery together...

30 Weeks

2008-03-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

Well, registering is complete. Due to Target's horrible return policy I decided to register at Wal-Mart. It was the worst experience ever! So, I caved and we registered at Target. It was a very pleasant atmosphere, not chaotic like Wal-Mart had been.

I have my first shower this weekend. It should be a very nice time. My belly is getting big and I am officially and outie. I will start seeing my doctor every week from here on out, just to keep a close eye on things. Otherwise, all is well.

Pictures of baby

2008-02-29T15:32:00.000-08:00

I've been in OB ultrasound training for the past couple weeks and today we got to take a peek at our's. Here are a few of my favorites.

29 Weeks

2008-02-25T05:50:00.000-08:00

I had an ultrasound last week and baby was still measuring two weeks ahead. The estimated weight was 3lbs 2oz! I can't believe how big he's getting, I remember when he was just the size of a piece of rice. It is truly amazing. My doctor didn't give me any pictures to share :( but in a couple months I'll have even better pictures to show you all!

It's getting harder to sleep at night, or should I say, it's getting harder to fall asleep. Other than that, I can't complain. I love feeling the baby move around, it is the most reassuring thing. His movements are getting stronger every day. Last night I think he must have done a 180 or something - it really surprised me to say the least. Anyway, thank you for all your prayers, the Lord is truly blessing us through this pregnancy.

28 Weeks!

2008-02-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

I feel like this is a huge landmark for me. The baby now has a greater than 90% chance of survival if he was born today! The baby is around 2.25 lbs and 15 inches. I'll get a better estimate on Wednesday at my ultrasound - can't wait!

I am still feeling great for the most part. I've just been having the worst heart burn so I've been popping Tums like crazy. I have been taking a water aerobics class which has been so good.

This week's task: Registering. I just found out my first shower will be in three weeks! Any tips??

28 weeks:

Third Trimester!

2008-02-12T21:40:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting recently. Everything is going well here. I have an ultrasound next week, so I'll soon be sharing more pictures of our little one. I'm getting bigger every day and am now in the last stretch. I can hardly believe it's less than 13 weeks away!

Here is an update on baby's development (from babycenter):

This week your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14.4 inches long with his legs extended. He can now open and close his eyes, and he sleeps and wakes at regular intervals. He may suck his fingers, and although his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with assistance — if he were to be born prematurely. Chalk up any rhythmic movement you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. Wonder what he's thinking?

27 weeks

Doctor Appt.

2008-01-24T17:51:00.000-08:00

I had a check up today and all is looking well. I am still measuring ahead (26 weeks today). Baby's heart rate was in the 140s. I'm thankful to be having "boring" appointments!

24 Week Belly

2008-01-21T20:15:00.000-08:00

My ever growing belly... I had the first stranger ask me when I was due the other day! At least it's looking like a pregnant belly and not just some extra pudge around the waist.

Statistics

2008-01-21T08:16:00.000-08:00

Below are the statistics for the survival rate of infants born prematurely. Since I am at risk for premature labor, I continue to check on the survival rate of the baby at each stage. I am so thankful to already be at 24 weeks. Obviously, I would not want the baby to be born yet, but at least I know there's a chance of survival and that chance keeps increasing with each day from here on out!

21 weeks and less 0%
22 weeks 0-10%*
23 weeks 10-40%
24 weeks 40-70%
25 weeks 50-80%
26 weeks 80-90%
27 weeks >90%
30 weeks >95%
34 weeks >98%

New pictures of baby

2008-01-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

I had an ultrasound a couple days ago and all is looking well. The baby is still measuring a couple weeks ahead(I think we may just have a big baby on our hands!). His estimated weight was 1 pound 5 ounces. It was so fun to see our little one again and so reassuring to know he's doing well.

Face Shot

I think he's going to be a thinker!

22 Weeks

2008-01-09T21:26:00.001-08:00

My belly has really grown in the last couple weeks. My appetite really increased just in time for the Holidays. See the effects below:

20w 4d

2007-12-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

Today I am exactly how far along I was when we lost our little Samuel. I can't help but think about how completely formed and perfect he was and how this baby is that same size. From here on out, I will be experiencing new things in pregnancy that I was not able to experience before. There is such a whirl of emotions, missing Samuel, being excited about this baby, etc... Just as we dedicated Samuel to the Lord, we are dedicating this little boy to Him and leaving this pregnancy in the Lord's hands, knowing that He knows what is best.

20 weeks

2007-12-24T12:35:00.000-08:00

Well, half way there! Right now the baby is about 10.5oz and 10 inches long. I have really started to feel the baby move (which is the absolute best part of pregnancy!) and Seth has been able to feel him a couple times as well. Everything else is going well so far. I'm starting to pop out. Here is my 20 week photo. Oh and I got a new hair cut today as well, it feels good to get it off my shoulders. Thanks again for all your prayers!

Update

2007-12-23T20:33:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for your prayers with the antibiotic. I take my last dose tomorrow and I've had no reaction to it! The Lord is so good. He is constantly teaching me that He is in control and that He can be trusted with all our fears. He says to "be anxious for nothing" and I am trying to learn to do that through this pregnancy especially.

Prayer Request

2007-12-17T20:37:00.001-08:00

Last week I went to the doctor because one of the incisions from my appendectomy was infected. They put me on an antibiotic and tested the fluid from the infection. Today they called and said that the antibiotic they put me on was resistant to the infection that I have (which is some kind of Staph). The problem is, I am allergic to three different antibiotics and they are already limited on what ones they can put you on in pregnancy. So, they had to put me on one that is a derivative of one that I am allergic to. There is a 10% chance that I will develop an allergic reaction to this one and if I do I don't know what they would do to treat it. I would just appreciate prayer that I will not develop a reaction to this antibiotic, that the infection will go away, and that the baby will stay protected. I am also home in Iowa until Christmas so it could be complicated if anything goes wrong...

THANK YOU!

The BIG ultrasound

2007-12-05T18:09:00.000-08:00

So, I had the big scan today and everything is looking great! The baby is actually measuring 10 days ahead of schedule. The doctor did say that because of my appendectomy I am at an increased risk for pre-term labor, so he told me how to recognize it and if I even have a questionable ache, to come in. So, I'd appreciate prayer for a full term baby.

Here are some pictures. He was an active little guy so we didn't get the greatest pictures but they're still cute.

This one looks like he's posing and blowing bubbles!

A full body shot

A 3D picture - you can mostly just see his leg and arm

and a nice leg shot!

16 week belly

2007-11-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

Well, here is my belly at 16 weeks. I'm starting to pop.

More exciting news, today I for sure felt the baby move! I've been wondering if I've been feeling the baby, but today when I was dropping off my keys for my oil change I felt some obvious flutters. It is so amazing to be able to feel this little one growing inside me. I can't wait for Seth to feel him kick! Anyway, here's my belly...

15 weeks

2007-11-19T07:38:00.000-08:00

I love learning about the baby's development, it is amazing how quickly they grow! I can't wait to feel this little one move, it won't be long now!

Baby's Development:

Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). He's busy moving amniotic fluid through his nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in his lungs begin to develop. His legs are growing longer than his arms now, and he can move all of his joints and limbs. Although his eyelids are still fused shut, he can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, he's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but he is forming taste buds.

More baby pics

2007-11-14T14:56:00.001-08:00

Profile

Alien Baby

And... It's a BOY!!!

More Blood Thinners

2007-11-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

Well, on Monday (before everything happened), I had some blood work done to check the levels of Lovenox (the blood thinner) in me blood. So far I have been on 40mg once a day, so one shot a day. They called me on Friday and said that I had no level in my blood, so what I had injected the night before the test had already left my system. My perinatologist and ob talked and decided based on my history and the two blotting disorders I have, to up my dose to the maximum. This means I will be giving myself shot 2x a day and they will be 60mg of Lovenox. So, in a nut shell, no more shaving (with a razor that is...) and I will need to be careful with any cuts since I won't clot off easy.

I am very thankful they are upping my dose because I have felt that it wasn't enough since I would clot off so easily whenever I cut myself. So, praise the Lord for taking care of us once again!

12 week ultrasound pics

2007-11-01T13:02:00.001-07:00

Profile of baby

Baby waving hi!

The Lord's Continued Care

2007-10-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

Well, this morning I woke up with horrible cramps and was thinking it may be a miscarriage. I called the doctor and she said to drink lots of water, take some tylenol, and rest and if it worsened to call back. Well, the pain just grew worse, I was throwing up repeatedly, and was only able to take a few steps so I called back. The nurse told me they could get me in at 11:15 so I called Seth to come home and take me.

We got to the doctor and I was just in excruciating pain. They checked baby's heart beat and it was good, so they started to suspect appendicitis. They sent me to a surgeon to get checked out. He said that they would have to do a laparoscopy and there would be a 10-15% of losing the baby. That was really our only option because if it was the appendix and it burst we would lose the baby for sure.

They did the surgery this evening and sure enough it was my appendix so they removed it and the baby is doing wonderful. I am so thankful for such a great God!

Thank you for all your prayers, they were heard and the Lord deserves all the glory for the protection of this little one.

NT scan - 11 weeks

2007-10-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today we had the Nuchal Traslucency scan. It was amazing! I can't believe how much our little one has grown! At first s/he was just lying there not doing a whole lot, then it started kicking and waving like crazy I started laughing - I think I was just overwhelmed with emotion! Everything looked good with a heart rate of 156bpm and the baby actually measured five days ahead!

It was so neat to see a profile, little arms and legs, and a perfectly formed body in there. Praise the Lord for His everlasting goodness!

11 weeks!

2007-10-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

Today I am 11 weeks pregnant, only 2 1/2 more weeks and I'll be out of the 1st trimester! I am started to feel better, I didn't puke at all this weekend. Then, today I woke up sick with dry heaves :P No big deal really, I am still thankful for it! I have my Nuchal Translucency test (a glorified ultrasound) on Wednesday, I am sooo excited about it!

How the baby is growing (taken from Babycenter):

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

9w 1d baby ultrasound picture

2007-10-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

Here is our little one at 9w1d

Sneek Peek

2007-10-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

On Monday, I worked late out at the hospital. After work, I decided to get a glimpse of our fuzz ball and much to my surprise, it's looking more and more like a baby! I actually saw him/her move which was absolutely amazing. I could see a distinct head and even arm and leg buds. I saw the heart just flickering away, but wasn't sure how many beats per minute. I am just so thankful for this little one and already love this baby so much!

9 week photo

2007-10-08T19:24:00.001-07:00

Here is a pic of me at nine weeks. Some highlights of what the baby is looking like/doing this week: s/he is about the size of a grape. The baby's heart finished dividing into four chambers and valves start to form. The baby's teeth are begining to form and the organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. His/her eyes are fully formed, but the eyelids will stay shut until about 27 weeks.

8 weeks 3 days

2007-10-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

This is kind of a bitter-sweet day. I was 8w 3d pregnant when we first saw our little Samuel on the ultrasound screen. His heart was fluttering away. I remember leaving that appointment feeling like I was on cloud 9. There used to never be this little person and all of the sudden there he was! We couldn't hold the secret in any longer. Even though we had already told immediate family and some friends, now we wanted the world to know! We can't wait to meet our little one in heaven some day. He is so dear to us.

8 Weeks

2007-10-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

Today I am 8 weeks pregnant. I thougt I'd give an update on the baby's development at this stage. This is from babycenter.

New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Your baby — about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

Baby's 1st Ultrasound!

2007-09-27T16:38:00.001-07:00

Here is our first glimpse at our baby! He/She measured 7w1d and the heart beat was 147bpm.

7 week photo

2007-09-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

Ugg...

2007-09-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

TMI (too much information) Alert!

Well, I have been having cherry juice first thing in the morning and right before I go to bed to help with my joint pain. Today it didn't sit too well. Yep, I lost it at work after only being there 45 min. This was the first time I've actually lost the contents of my stomach. It was bad. So, I left early and rested at home. It was so nice. I munched on crackers, then Seth brought me some Sprite and made me Ramon soup.

I decided I must find a cure for this! So, I had heard of these pregnancy pops that help ease the morning sickness. I got some today at Burlington Coat Factory of all places and I was feeling a little sick when I left so I sucked on one and it really did seem to ease my stomach. I also got some tea that is supposed to help. We will see. If I keep this up it will be difficult to keep the secret until Thanksgiving like we are hoping...

Symtoms setting in...

2007-09-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I am really starting to feel pregnant...

Morning sickness is here, usually from about 9am-11am off and on and occasionally other times. The other day when I was teaching Sunday school I really thought I was going to hurl. I'm glad a didn't, but who knows in the weeks to come, eek!

Fatigue - By 8:30/9:00pm I start feeling exausted. If I get to bed later than 9:30 I am so tired in the morning and can't get myself out of bed (that was me this morning since I didn't get to bed until 11:30).

Hungry - It isn't always, but occasionally, I just get so hungry I feel like I could eat a horse! I can't remember being this hungry in a long time, so I know it's a symtom. Going along with that I've had some cravings - mac & cheese (I know I shouldn't have this but I gave into it once about 10 days ago. Watermelon was another - I had this for supper and I ate the entire thing over a three hour period, yummy!

There are other things I am experiencing, but I will spare you!
To add, I am so thankful for these symtoms. Since I can't actually feel the baby yet, these are all such wonderful physical reminders that this little one is growing inside of me.

We will be having an ultrasound on Monday to see our little bean! I'll be about 7 weeks, so there should be a good heart beat in there!

Posted by marcie at 1:04 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

1st Appointment with Perinatologist
Today I met my perinatologist. Dr. Fumia - interesting name. He was so nice, he just spent like 45 min just talking to us about everything. He talked to us about what to expect as far as my injections and upcoming ultrasounds. I had an ultrasound but he couldn't really see anything since I'm only 4w5d. He said he did see the gestational sac though so that's good. I just want to fast forward to 28 weeks or so, even 13 would be great! It's just the unsurity of what is going to happen with this pregnancy. I am just trying to enjoy each day. I have known for over a week now that I've been pregnant so I'm thankful for that! My next appt with him is in 6 weeks but I will see my regular OB before that (Sept. 24) so I'm hoping we can see the heart beat by then! Now, it is just the waiting game..

1st Appointment with Perinatologist

2007-09-11T15:08:00.000-07:00

Today I met my perinatologist. Dr. Fumia - interesting name. He was so nice, he just spent like 45 min just talking to us about everything. He talked to us about what to expect as far as my injections and upcoming ultrasounds. I had an ultrasound but he couldn't really see anything since I'm only 4w5d. He said he did see the gestational sac though so that's good. I just want to fast forward to 28 weeks or so, even 13 would be great! It's just the unsurity of what is going to happen with this pregnancy. I am just trying to enjoy each day. I have known for over a week now that I've been pregnant so I'm thankful for that! My next appt with him is in 6 weeks but I will see my regular OB before that (Sept. 24) so I'm hoping we can see the heart beat by then! Now, it is just the waiting game..

The Poking Begins!

2007-09-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

Well, because of my blood clotting disorders (Factor V Leiden & MTHFR) that they found after we lost our son, I will be sticking myself with Lovenox (Heparin) once a day. It is basically a blood thinner and should prevent clotting during this pregnancy. It took me a second to stick that inch long needle in my stomach, but once I got myself to do it that was not the bad part at all. It was when I pushed the medicine in that it BURNED! I was not expecting that. Oh well, it is soo worth it! And a blessing is that my insurance covers the Lovenox, if it didn't I would have to give myself the generic Heparin injections 2x a day and it steals more calcium from your bones - so I am very thankful.

I still haven't been able to get into a specialist. I got a call from who my specialist was going to be and they said she is out of network (they just didn't renew their contract with my insurance recently). So, the wait continues. I know I just need to be patient and know that the Lord is just wanting me to TRUST Him, He will work it all out according to His will. Well, that is all for today so far

Finding out!

2007-09-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, on Labor Day I decided to take a home pregnancy test and sure enough, it was positive! With tears of joy I burst in to wake up Seth to tell him. He just held me and we layed in silence to let it sink in. It was hard not the think of the last time we got a positive test. We had gotten home after Bible study and had picked up a test on the way home. Doubtful that it would be positive, but I had been having some symtoms so we went ahead and bought it. As the two lines went across, we were both literally in shock (we had only been married 6 weeks!), but so excited that the Lord had performed a miracle and created a little one.

It was a little different this time. We lost the pregnancy "bliss" that we once knew when we lost our son. We decided that we would take one day at a time and truly celebrate this pregnancy each day.

Our first celebration - we went out to a nice Italian restaurant and talked about our excitement, our fears, and what we need to think about with this pregnancy. We made a list of things we want to try NOT to do, here it is:

We will try not to Complain - No matter how sick I get, I want to be truly thankful for these symtoms as a reminder that I am still pregnant.

We need to be careful of our Expectations - We need to be willing to accept and want whatever the Lord's will is through this pregnancy. Not what we want, but what He wants.

We will try not to Replace Samuel - We need to remember that this is his sibling and not feel like we are replacing what we have lost.

We will try not to Worry - The Lord says to be "anxious for nothing, but in everything give thanks..." So, we will be thankful for each day and try to trust the Lord through everything.

Well, four weeks... Not very far along, but I am thankful for the joy that the Lord has given me for today!