Samuel's Baby Brother

I originally started this blog as a place to celebrate this pregnancy and to share the journey of life after the loss of our dear son, Samuel. It has been a place where I could talk about my feelings of being pregnant again – my hopes, fears, and joy.

For the past few weeks I have been trying to think of a way to conclude this blog. A very thoughtful friend gave me this onesie and I thought this was the perfect ending to a new beginning.

I do get sad thinking about what good "buds" the two boys would have been. I do grieve Samuel in new ways as I come to realize even more what we have lost through the overwhelming love and joy we have when we look at Landon. I know with each milestone that Landon reaches, there will be a thought of Samuel. When he smiles, "what would Samuel's smile have been like?" when he laughs, rolls over, takes his first steps there will always be a little bit of me that grieves in those moments of happiness. This is the human side of me. However, there is great comfort in knowing that Samuel is in the presence of our Lord and Savior as I type this. I never have to worry about him as I already do Landon, he is in the best care possible! Samuel will always be Landon’s “big brother;” he has just made it home first.

Thank you for all the support and prayers throughout my pregnancy – you have all been a huge encouragement to me.

From now on I’ll be posting over at my original blog.

Some similarities between the two: Samuel was 10.5oz, Landon was nearly 9.5lbs. They were both born on Saturdays in the 9th hour.

Bath Time

Landon's first trip went well. He went for 3 - 3.5 hour stretches in the car and slept most of the weekend. We didn't get home until 4am this morning so we slept for the entire morning. Landon's umbilical cord fell off over the weekend so I could finally give him a real bath.

1 week old

Landon and I are doing very well. He had his first doctor's appointment last week and all looked well. The doctor originally thought he had a bruise on his cheek, but he now thinks it is a birth mark. He said sometimes a birth mark in that location can be associated with an eye problem. He doesn't seem concerned, but wants him to be seen by a pediatric eye doctor just to be safe. Otherwise he was gaining his weight back and didn't have any signs of jaundice. He is sleeping very well at night with 3 to 4 hour stretches - it's amazing how good those stretches of sleep feel!

My mom left yesterday which is sad, but she really did help us through the hardest part. We are planning on going to Colorado in a few days for Brian and Rachelle's wedding. We would appreciate prayer that Landon would do well and not get sick.

Here are some more pictures:

Sweet boy



Staring at daddy



Bath Time. He really got this towel good after his sponge bath, I hope it comes clean!



Big lips

Landon's Birth Story

May 8, 8:30 AM I had an appointment and my doctor noticed my contractions were getting closer together so she decided to strip my membranes in hopes to get this boy moving.

May 8, 8:30 PM My contractions started to feel different, they weren’t that painful but were definitely more uncomfortable. They were around 5 minutes apart, but I decided that if they woke me up that night I’d call the doctor.

May 9, 3:30 AM They woke me up and I wasn’t able to fall back asleep. I decided to keep timing them and wait until my doctor’s office opened. I called the doctor and they told me to come in. I knew as soon as I got in I was going to be very uncomfortable, so I wanted to wait until they were really painful.

May 9, 2:00 PM I went to the hospital. They said it was early labor (1cm 80% effaced) and to go home and wait until they were 2-3 min apart.

May 9, 7:30 PM They reached 2-3 min apart so we went in. My doctor ended up having a medical emergency herself so another doctor was on call (who was not familiar with my history). I hadn’t changed from earlier and after they pumped a lot of fluid into me my contractions spaced out to 6 min apart.

May 9, 9:30 PM They sent me home again. Since I was trying for a VBAC, they didn’t want to use anything to speed my labor along because of increased chance of uterine rupture. My doctor would not have sent me home with my high risk history. I was so upset because I knew this was the real thing and to drive during those contractions was miserable, but there was no convincing them to let me stay so we went home.

At home I was miserable, but tried to breath through my contractions and not let my mind get out of control (I wasn’t always successful though!). Seth would pray through the contractions and that helped tremendously.

May 10, 1:30 AM We decided it was time to go back in. When we got there I started throwing up in the parking lot, I was miserable and could not think how I was going to walk in. My mom and sister had just arrived (from their 8 hour drive) and met us in the parking lot with a wheel chair. When they checked me, I had changed to 2cm and was 100% effaced so the doctor let me stay. I started to have back labor and was in so much pain. The thing that helped me the most during each contraction was to repeat, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I continued to progress slowly through the night and was exhausted.

May 10, 7:45 AM I finally caved and got the epidural. I had wanted to go natural, but after being up for 28 hours I was running out of energy and endurance. When they checked me after the epidural placement, I was 7cm and the nurse accidentally popped my water.

May 10, 8:15 AM The doctor came in said I was complete and ready to push.

May 10, 9:17 AM Our precious Landon John was born. I couldn’t believe how big was at 9lb 7oz and 22 ¼ inches long. We were so thankful to have such an uncomplicated labor and delivery.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us during this pregnancy, the Lord is so gracious and we are truly blessed!

40 Week "Belly"

More pictures

Things are going well here. We got home from the hospital yesterday. My sisters and mom were able to come down, sisters have left, mom will be here a few more days. She has been a huge help. Landon has his first doctor's appt tomorrow which I think will go very well. He is doing great. he has his days and nights mixed up so we're trying to catch up on sleep during the day until he switches over.

Here are a few more pictures that my sister took of our little guy.

He is here!

Sweet Landon John arrived this morning (5/10) at 9:17 am.
9lb 7oz ~ 22 1/4 in
He is perfect and beautiful.
Both mom and baby are doing great!

Stay tuned for more pictures and his birth story!