Samuel's Baby Brother

I originally started this blog as a place to celebrate this pregnancy and to share the journey of life after the loss of our dear son, Samuel. It has been a place where I could talk about my feelings of being pregnant again – my hopes, fears, and joy.

For the past few weeks I have been trying to think of a way to conclude this blog. A very thoughtful friend gave me this onesie and I thought this was the perfect ending to a new beginning.

I do get sad thinking about what good "buds" the two boys would have been. I do grieve Samuel in new ways as I come to realize even more what we have lost through the overwhelming love and joy we have when we look at Landon. I know with each milestone that Landon reaches, there will be a thought of Samuel. When he smiles, "what would Samuel's smile have been like?" when he laughs, rolls over, takes his first steps there will always be a little bit of me that grieves in those moments of happiness. This is the human side of me. However, there is great comfort in knowing that Samuel is in the presence of our Lord and Savior as I type this. I never have to worry about him as I already do Landon, he is in the best care possible! Samuel will always be Landon’s “big brother;” he has just made it home first.

Thank you for all the support and prayers throughout my pregnancy – you have all been a huge encouragement to me.

From now on I’ll be posting over at my original blog.

Some similarities between the two: Samuel was 10.5oz, Landon was nearly 9.5lbs. They were both born on Saturdays in the 9th hour.

Bath Time

Landon's first trip went well. He went for 3 - 3.5 hour stretches in the car and slept most of the weekend. We didn't get home until 4am this morning so we slept for the entire morning. Landon's umbilical cord fell off over the weekend so I could finally give him a real bath.

1 week old

Landon and I are doing very well. He had his first doctor's appointment last week and all looked well. The doctor originally thought he had a bruise on his cheek, but he now thinks it is a birth mark. He said sometimes a birth mark in that location can be associated with an eye problem. He doesn't seem concerned, but wants him to be seen by a pediatric eye doctor just to be safe. Otherwise he was gaining his weight back and didn't have any signs of jaundice. He is sleeping very well at night with 3 to 4 hour stretches - it's amazing how good those stretches of sleep feel!

My mom left yesterday which is sad, but she really did help us through the hardest part. We are planning on going to Colorado in a few days for Brian and Rachelle's wedding. We would appreciate prayer that Landon would do well and not get sick.

Here are some more pictures:

Sweet boy



Staring at daddy



Bath Time. He really got this towel good after his sponge bath, I hope it comes clean!



Big lips

Landon's Birth Story

May 8, 8:30 AM I had an appointment and my doctor noticed my contractions were getting closer together so she decided to strip my membranes in hopes to get this boy moving.

May 8, 8:30 PM My contractions started to feel different, they weren’t that painful but were definitely more uncomfortable. They were around 5 minutes apart, but I decided that if they woke me up that night I’d call the doctor.

May 9, 3:30 AM They woke me up and I wasn’t able to fall back asleep. I decided to keep timing them and wait until my doctor’s office opened. I called the doctor and they told me to come in. I knew as soon as I got in I was going to be very uncomfortable, so I wanted to wait until they were really painful.

May 9, 2:00 PM I went to the hospital. They said it was early labor (1cm 80% effaced) and to go home and wait until they were 2-3 min apart.

May 9, 7:30 PM They reached 2-3 min apart so we went in. My doctor ended up having a medical emergency herself so another doctor was on call (who was not familiar with my history). I hadn’t changed from earlier and after they pumped a lot of fluid into me my contractions spaced out to 6 min apart.

May 9, 9:30 PM They sent me home again. Since I was trying for a VBAC, they didn’t want to use anything to speed my labor along because of increased chance of uterine rupture. My doctor would not have sent me home with my high risk history. I was so upset because I knew this was the real thing and to drive during those contractions was miserable, but there was no convincing them to let me stay so we went home.

At home I was miserable, but tried to breath through my contractions and not let my mind get out of control (I wasn’t always successful though!). Seth would pray through the contractions and that helped tremendously.

May 10, 1:30 AM We decided it was time to go back in. When we got there I started throwing up in the parking lot, I was miserable and could not think how I was going to walk in. My mom and sister had just arrived (from their 8 hour drive) and met us in the parking lot with a wheel chair. When they checked me, I had changed to 2cm and was 100% effaced so the doctor let me stay. I started to have back labor and was in so much pain. The thing that helped me the most during each contraction was to repeat, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I continued to progress slowly through the night and was exhausted.

May 10, 7:45 AM I finally caved and got the epidural. I had wanted to go natural, but after being up for 28 hours I was running out of energy and endurance. When they checked me after the epidural placement, I was 7cm and the nurse accidentally popped my water.

May 10, 8:15 AM The doctor came in said I was complete and ready to push.

May 10, 9:17 AM Our precious Landon John was born. I couldn’t believe how big was at 9lb 7oz and 22 ¼ inches long. We were so thankful to have such an uncomplicated labor and delivery.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us during this pregnancy, the Lord is so gracious and we are truly blessed!

40 Week "Belly"

More pictures

Things are going well here. We got home from the hospital yesterday. My sisters and mom were able to come down, sisters have left, mom will be here a few more days. She has been a huge help. Landon has his first doctor's appt tomorrow which I think will go very well. He is doing great. he has his days and nights mixed up so we're trying to catch up on sleep during the day until he switches over.

Here are a few more pictures that my sister took of our little guy.

He is here!

Sweet Landon John arrived this morning (5/10) at 9:17 am.
9lb 7oz ~ 22 1/4 in
He is perfect and beautiful.
Both mom and baby are doing great!

Stay tuned for more pictures and his birth story!

38 Weeks

Still no real progress here in the labor department. Contractions are here and there and they are starting to get stronger, but nothing consistent yet. This little guy is pretty comfortable in there and doesn't seem to be planning an early arrival, but we shall see. I'll keep you posted on any changes...

The Nursery, Before and After

Thought I would FINALLY show you what we have done in the nursery since we just got everything hung on the walls that we wanted and Seth even installed a ceiling fan.

Found this at a thrift store, thought we would re-do it for our changing table



We were given this dresser, thought with a little paint it would be good as new



The room under contruction



Seth doing all the painting



Getting to that dresser




AND AFTER....

Maternity Pictures

Here are a couple maternity pictures that my sister, Rebekah took when I was 30 weeks pregnant (I've grown a lot since then!). I really like how they turned out.

37 Weeks

I've made it! If I were to have this baby now he would be full term and able to come home with us in just a few days as long as all goes well. I am so grateful to have made it this far. It feels surreal to think that we will meet our little boy within a matter of days.
A couple updates...

I finished work last week so now I have a little more time to prepare for the baby.

I had an ultrasound last week, the clot has grown, but the baby is growing as well, so the doctor is not concerned. They estimated his weight at 7lb 10oz, so if he waits til my due date to make his appearance, he will be a big guy!

Made some good progress on the nursery this week, but still need to get some things put up on the walls...

Anyway, I am sorry for missing the 36 week picture for those of you who read my blog, but things have been very busy preparing for baby. Here is a 37 week shot...

34 Weeks

Things are still going well. Baby is still measuring big, so that means he is growing! Put your guess in on when you think our baby will be born and how big he will be by clicking on the left icon. We are planning on getting a lot done in the nursery tomorrow, so hopefully (I know I keep saying that...) I will be able to post pictures very soon!

Our camera was foggy from being in the cold car, so Seth played around a bit with this picture to get it to look a little better...

33 Week Appointment

Well, I guess they don't do measurements on the ultrasound each week, more like every 3 weeks. They are just checking the fluid around the baby and keeping an eye on the clot. The fluid levels looked great and my tummy measured 36/37 cm! I did the non-stress test where they put the external monitors for the heart and contractions and I push a button to tell them when I feel movement. I was surprised to find myself having a hard time with that. It brought back memories of being in the hospital with Samuel when I had to wear that monitor. I had to lay so still with him since he was so little and it did not want to stay on, I very much hated that thing. It wasn't so bad today, it was just the memories I guess. It's weird how little things will bring you back to those moments...

All else looked good. The doctor says that when one of her patients hits 34 weeks she feels great about everything. She said if he were to be born it would only be a 1-2 week NICU stay! That was very reassuring to hear. I have a shower tonight and another this weekend so I will post pictures of the room soon (maybe next week...).

Guesses?

Any guesses on what the estimated weight will be on this boy today? Last week it was 5lb 5 oz. Most of my ultrasounds have been a good 4 weeks apart, so it will be interesting to see how much he has grown in a week.

Ultrasound Report

I had an ultrasound today and all is looking well. Baby is measuring three weeks ahead with an estimated weight of 5lbs 5oz! I know that can be off, but still, he's a big one. One thing the doctor said is that I do have a clot on my placenta at the same place I had one with Samuel. He said at this point he is not concerned, it's just if it starts interfering with growth (which at this point it's obviously not) or if I start having symptoms like I did with Samuel (fluid retention, contractions, etc...). It makes me a little nervous knowing I have a clot there, but I am so thankful to be this far along so even if he had to be born early he would have a great chance. He also wants to switch me from Lovenox to Heparin sooner (in two weeks) instead of waiting til I'm 36 weeks, since the baby is measuring so far ahead. The main reason they switch is because the effects of Heparin can be reversed if I were to go into labor and with Lovenox they can't. Otherwise the doctor says things are looking great.

32 Weeks

Seth finished the first coat of paint in the baby's room tonight, yay! April and Justin are letting us borrow one of their cribs since Layla is now in her big girl bed. Hopefully by this weekend, painting should be done and the crib should be put together. I will post pictures of our progress.

I had a doctor's appt. today and all is well. I have an ultrasound on Thursday, I never get tired of seeing our little boy squirm on the screen. Here's a picture of my growing belly at 32 weeks, only 8 weeks to go!

31 Weeks

Well, I had an appointment yesterday. All is looking good. I measured 34cm (3 weeks ahead. My doctor thinks our little boy will be around 8 1/2 to 9 lbs if he goes full term. She said starting next week she wants to do weekly ultrasounds just to keep an eye on growth and fluid levels. I will also be having non stress tests weekly. This is going to make it go really fast!

Also, I had my first shower last weekend back in Iowa. I couldn't believe how generous everyone was! I got so much stuff, I still don't know how we fit it all in our car. I will post pictures of the loot when I get a chance. Also, my sister took some maternity pictures which were a lot of fun.

Next on the list: Paint and put nursery together...

30 Weeks

Well, registering is complete. Due to Target's horrible return policy I decided to register at Wal-Mart. It was the worst experience ever! So, I caved and we registered at Target. It was a very pleasant atmosphere, not chaotic like Wal-Mart had been.

I have my first shower this weekend. It should be a very nice time. My belly is getting big and I am officially and outie. I will start seeing my doctor every week from here on out, just to keep a close eye on things. Otherwise, all is well.

Pictures of baby

I've been in OB ultrasound training for the past couple weeks and today we got to take a peek at our's. Here are a few of my favorites.

29 Weeks

I had an ultrasound last week and baby was still measuring two weeks ahead. The estimated weight was 3lbs 2oz! I can't believe how big he's getting, I remember when he was just the size of a piece of rice. It is truly amazing. My doctor didn't give me any pictures to share :( but in a couple months I'll have even better pictures to show you all!

It's getting harder to sleep at night, or should I say, it's getting harder to fall asleep. Other than that, I can't complain. I love feeling the baby move around, it is the most reassuring thing. His movements are getting stronger every day. Last night I think he must have done a 180 or something - it really surprised me to say the least. Anyway, thank you for all your prayers, the Lord is truly blessing us through this pregnancy.

28 Weeks!

I feel like this is a huge landmark for me. The baby now has a greater than 90% chance of survival if he was born today! The baby is around 2.25 lbs and 15 inches. I'll get a better estimate on Wednesday at my ultrasound - can't wait!

I am still feeling great for the most part. I've just been having the worst heart burn so I've been popping Tums like crazy. I have been taking a water aerobics class which has been so good.

This week's task: Registering. I just found out my first shower will be in three weeks! Any tips??

28 weeks:

Third Trimester!

Sorry for not posting recently. Everything is going well here. I have an ultrasound next week, so I'll soon be sharing more pictures of our little one. I'm getting bigger every day and am now in the last stretch. I can hardly believe it's less than 13 weeks away!

Here is an update on baby's development (from babycenter):

This week your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14.4 inches long with his legs extended. He can now open and close his eyes, and he sleeps and wakes at regular intervals. He may suck his fingers, and although his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with assistance — if he were to be born prematurely. Chalk up any rhythmic movement you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. Wonder what he's thinking?

27 weeks

Doctor Appt.

I had a check up today and all is looking well. I am still measuring ahead (26 weeks today). Baby's heart rate was in the 140s. I'm thankful to be having "boring" appointments!

24 Week Belly

My ever growing belly... I had the first stranger ask me when I was due the other day! At least it's looking like a pregnant belly and not just some extra pudge around the waist.

Statistics

Below are the statistics for the survival rate of infants born prematurely. Since I am at risk for premature labor, I continue to check on the survival rate of the baby at each stage. I am so thankful to already be at 24 weeks. Obviously, I would not want the baby to be born yet, but at least I know there's a chance of survival and that chance keeps increasing with each day from here on out!

21 weeks and less 0%
22 weeks 0-10%*
23 weeks 10-40%
24 weeks 40-70%
25 weeks 50-80%
26 weeks 80-90%
27 weeks >90%
30 weeks >95%
34 weeks >98%

New pictures of baby

I had an ultrasound a couple days ago and all is looking well. The baby is still measuring a couple weeks ahead(I think we may just have a big baby on our hands!). His estimated weight was 1 pound 5 ounces. It was so fun to see our little one again and so reassuring to know he's doing well.

Face Shot



I think he's going to be a thinker!

22 Weeks

My belly has really grown in the last couple weeks. My appetite really increased just in time for the Holidays. See the effects below: